Getting in the Mood for Love

Everyone knows that sex is naturally good for you; makes you feel good and lifts you up with the release of natural endorphins, leaving you feeling appreciated and wanted. Sometimes though, getting in the mood for love isn’t as easy as it used to be; you may still lust after your partner but find it difficult to get into the mindset for sex. There can be all kinds of reasons for this and it happens to both men and women, though it is thought to be more common in women for whom it said up to 43% experience a loss of libido for no apparent reason. Causes are things such as stress, post-natal depression, anxiety, tiredness, depression and hormonal imbalances. The fact that you are suffering from a lack of libido can also add to the problem, snowballing out of control because you think there is something wrong with you. There are some natural ways you can try to get back your libido and get your partner and yourself back in the mood for love.

Aromatherapy

The limbic area of the brain is connected with our sense of smell, emotions and memory. Smells can alter our brain activity, making us excited or relaxed; essential oils can help you feel positive and confident, as well as increasing your sexuality. Making some time to massage is good, plus you can make a blend of oils to use in the shower or bath. Jasmine oil is seductive and relaxing; sandalwood is used for relieving anxiety, one of the major causes of reduced libido. Rose can be used for emotional comfort; ylang ylang stimulates the senses and patchouli oil tantalizes the nervous system. If you are a woman and think you may have a hormone imbalance, Clary sage and fennel are both important because they contain female hormone-like qualities, the sage is also used for natural healing. Harmony between the sexes can be brought about using geranium, and bergamot is enlivening.

Quick aromatherapy love remedy:

Add the following to a 500ml bottle of aromatherapy base oil then add the mixture to a warm bath.

5 drops of jasmine
5 drops of rose
10 drops of sandalwood
5 drops of bergamot

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Taste

Food can play an important part in lovemaking; there is a strong connection between sex and taste, the food we eat during times of passion can influence the way we feel, and the way we perform. Shellfish are rich in zinc, which is well known for encouraging the male and female sexual hormones. Other sources of zinc include beans, beef, oysters, turkey and cereal. Iron and vitamin b12 are vitally important for sex-drive; eating red meat, pulses, nuts and whole grains will help boost your system.

Also sweet tastes can help increase erotic feelings, creating the mood could be a simple matter of feeding each other strawberries, kiwi and passion fruit. Women can also help balance hormones by ingesting phyto-oestrogens, which are found in Soya products like tofu, and also flaxseeds, celery, fennel, alfalfa and pomegranates.

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Herbs

Ginkgo is reported to boost sexual performance in men and women; acting as an anti-oxidant and improving blood circulation. One major cause of sexual dysfunction in men (and some women) is modern anti-depressants; a study in California showed that 84% of men taking anti-depressants such as Prozac said their situation was improved after taking ginkgo - the study also included women with 91% saying their sex life had improved after taking the herb, which is available at all good health food stores.

Other herbs to look out for include St John’s wort, which is said to boost libido; as is Chinese and Korean ginseng; and horny goat weed which, legend tells, is so called because a shepherd watched as some of his goats ate the weed and noticed an increase in their sexual activity.

Please consult your doctor before taking any of these in conjunction with other medication.

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Pheromones

Far too often in modern society we cover ourselves in deodorants and perfumes that block out our natural smells, this may actually hinder passion. Try to avoid scented antiperspirants if you must use them, rely more on your natural pheromones to excite primitive passion. Having a romantic dance together, just enough to heat your bodies but not so much that you sweat, is the perfect way to exchange pheromones and put you both in the mood for love.

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Step Back

If all this doesn’t work it may be time to take a step back and have a close look at your relationship; relearn how to talk to each other, to touch each other again. Put a temporary ban on actual intercourse and concentrate on cuddling, foreplay and kissing. Spend time lying next to each other on your bed, telling each other where you like to be touched without being shy or coy about it. Don’t put any pressure on the other person to resume intercourse, just become more relaxed with each other until you are both willing to give it a go, resuming the pre-sexual intimacy if it doesn’t work first time.

Recommended reading:

In the Mood, Again by Kathleen A., Ph.D.